Friday, September 9, 2011

Awake My Soul

I have had a weird relationship with food for as long as I can remember. I can clearly see little third grade me crying after a dr. visit where I heard my weight. I just knew those two numbers were too high. I can't remember exactly what I did after that but I'm pretty sure it involved a peanut butter and marshmallow cream crust.

This has been my struggle, my secret battle every single day for most of my life. It sucks and it's super embarrassing. I honestly can hardly believe I am putting this on a blog for everyone to see. The thing is...I'm desperate. I have tried many a diet, food journaled myself into a frenzy and worked out for hours. Nothing has worked for me long term.

So the other day I was praying about this whole food thing and telling God how sad and helpless I feel. How I have no control over my life no matter how hard I try. He told me to "stop trying to control my life and let Him do it." That's pretty much how it's supposed to be anyway so I said "ok." In my experience, when I give God control He usually asks me to do something hard (hence this blog). When I have obeyed, it has always turned out great; way better than I could have imagined. Today I am choosing to obey God. I am giving Him control of this last area of my life. In the words of Mumford and Sons "My weakness I feel I must finally show. Awake my soul."



  1. You all already know it, but I'm saying it again. I am so proud. Love you both.

  2. Monica,

    I love you - always have and always will. I know that God will never put more on you than you can handle and He's always with you. I'm amazed by you faithfulness to obey God. He's faithful...and His plans for you are good.

    Love you.


  3. yeah, you're kind of pretty amazing. Strong and beautiful and faithful! I am inspired and very proud of you! That Celeste is pretty great too;)

  4. Wow! Monica this is incredible! You are stepping out in faith and obedience and God will be faithful to see you guys through! So proud of you! Can't wait to watch this journey unfold! I'm here for you to chat or jig it up anytime!


  5. I want to wake up, too. This is beauty and satisfaction - to be awake.

  6. My lovelies you are so much more then numbers. You are beautiful woman of God and I will be praying for you as you walk this road together. Hugs and kisses to you both!