This past Thursday was a crazy day for me. One of those days where things keep piling up and I get overwhelmed. When that happens, I usually begin stuffing my pie hole with every carb within arm's reach.
This time was different, foreign, amazing.
Let me paint a stressful picture for you.
I spent most of the day practicing to play guitar and sing for a fundraising event the next day (which I was ridiculously nervous about.) Then I had to make the quick kid switch with my husband so I could go to worship practice. He was running late from work which made me late and of course I hung out in some sweet traffic. When I got there, I realized I had forgotten my music which was when my pits started sweating for real. I was so embarrassed and felt like such an idiot. I spent the whole practice reminding myself of all the dumb things I should have done differently that day. My husband was texting me that our son was sick and asking me to come home, so I left early. I was feeling guilty because all my friends were helping set up for our friend's fundraiser and I felt like I needed to be there. Plus we had no milk and I needed to go to the store. I was all alone with so many things on my mind and I hadn't eaten supper yet. Seriously, the perfect storm. What I wanted to do was hide in the nearest restaurant and turn my phone off, but that didn't happen.
I sat in the car for a minute and prayed. I said, "God I feel out of control and I need your help. I can't handle this without you. Please. Please be my strength." And guess what...He was. I stopped and got a quick sandwich, and my husband called to say he got our baby to sleep. He told me I should go help our friends for a little bit. So I did and things went great and we got lots done.
That night was a turning point for me in this fight. It was the first time I can remember not giving in to my flesh in such a stressful situation. I gave my situation to God and surrendered my desires to Him. That right there made all the difference. It didn't make the situation go away but you know what? I didn't go home feeling guilty or holding a secret. It was pretty great.
Let's hope I remember this feeling next time.