Cripple Me

I went to bed an hour and a half ago but can't sleep.  I can't because I need to tell you the words burning inside of me.  A few weeks ago, I wrote this post about choosing God over other things in my life.  I am embarrassed to say that I haven't been doing much of the right choosing lately.  I have become distracted, busy, stubborn...

So the prayer in my heart is a desperate one.  I cannot keep running away.  The words to Elenowen's song Cripple Me are playing over and over in my head.

Here are the lyrics:

I see you waiting, but I'm not ready
To take that first step towards home
So please be patient, God knows I'm trying
But these good intentions are not enough


You've pulled back your veil, laid it all on the line
But I've turned my back and covered my eyes


Please, please, please, please cripple me
So I cannot keep running away
Away from you


Just give me some time, I am almost a man
Without you by my side, I don't know who I am


Please, please, please, please cripple me
So I cannot keep running away
Away from you

Honestly, I'm a little scared of that prayer.  I don't know what it will take to cripple me.  But I'm desperate.  I would rather be limping in his arms than running away.

Monica