Wednesday, October 5, 2011

I Don't Want to do This!

Quitting things is one of my favorite past times.  I am so good at it.  I have quit many things in my life like piano, flute, running, kickboxing, college, and more college.  When things get really hard and uncomfortable, that is my cue to bail.  This is getting really hard for me.  God is digging out some very painful splinters in my heart...and it hurts.  He is leading me to talk about things that I just want to keep to myself.  Honestly, it is taking everything in me to keep my feet planted right here; to not bail.  It would be nice if God just took this issue away from me all together.  But I know He doesn't always bring healing like that.  Sometimes He draws us into a different place, a place of obedience.  Sometimes we have to dip into the river 7 times for our healing.  (Like Naaman in 2 Kings 5.)  I feel like I've dipped in the Jordan river a few times already but a few times isn't going to cut it.  He's asking for more.  And if I want healing I need to wade back in even when it's uncomfortable.  Even if it takes longer than I think it should.

So here goes.

I'm getting back in.

"Elisha sent a messenger to him, saying, "Go and wash in the Jordan seven times, and your skin will be restored and you will be clean."  2 Kings 5:10



  1. Ok so I was just reading my bible last night (before I saw this post) and read this:

    Living life for God gives you freedom and fearlessness. When you turn your life and everything in it over to God, you grant Him the opportunity and authority to bless it and confirm that you trust in His way and His time to take care of it. When you maintain ownership over things in your life, you take control away from God. When He has no control, you do not allow His perfect will and plan to unfold in your life. You stop the flow of blessings. Call your money “God’s money.” Call your children “God’s children.” Call your body “God’s body.” Call your life “God’s life.” When you trust everything to God, in his time, the supernatural, right things will happen. When everything becomes God’s responsibility and you have him behind you, there is no enemy you cannot defeat and no task you cannot accomplish.

  2. Monica, digging out splinters is painful stuff. I would much rather just dip in the muddy river. If you are interested, I wrote a post last month about digging out the bloody shards. I know this is painful for you. I wish I was there to hold your hand while the splinters were being picked out. I'll try to meet you at the river, okay?