I have been mulling this post over for weeks now. This is a tough issue for me and I have a feeling nearly everyone who reads this will be able to relate.
I cannot look at another girl without sizing myself up to her. Doesn't matter who she is or what she looks like. I look at her and find all her qualities that are better than mine in seconds. "Oh man, look at that awesome hair!" "She can totally get away with that outfit." "I wish I was that good of a mom, wife, friend etc." "How is she so skinny after just having a baby?" You get the picture.
I have some seriously amazing women in my life. Some of my closest friends just happen to be in ridiculously good physical shape. I have a personal trainer friend, two triathalon competitors and one that even after a baby looks like a model and those are just a few examples. Most of my friends seem to have it all together and frankly I am embarrassed with my struggle around them. I like others that suck at what I suck at and they don't seem to carry around the same issues. The lie that the enemy whispers in my ear is that they have it all together and I am the only one with crap. When I take a step back and realize that everyone has some thing that they wrestle it is easier for me to quit the comparisons. But in the thick of it, I can't see that. It's just me all alone with skinny beautiful friends drooling over cake while they don't give it a second thought. What a tricky lie.
When I was pregnant with my son, a few of us got together and had some pictures taken. One of the girls was going to be out of the country for several months and wanted pictures to take with her. I begrudgingly obliged to allow my large child-carrying belly to be photographed. As dumb as it sounds, I didn't want to have to stand next to these beautiful girls that I love dearly being so large. I was being so very selfish and childish. When we got the pictures back, I sat at my computer and cried. They were most definitely not tears of happiness. The only thing I could think of when looking at the images was how much different I looked than them; how fat I thought I was. I called them all and officially banned the pictures from facebook. It has been a year and a half since I've seen these pictures and I am viewing them with fresh eyes. Now I see myself as a woman carrying a beautiful miracle instead of just a fat sweaty pregnant girl. My amazing, hilarious curly-headed little boy was growing in that belly and I am so proud to be his Mama. Looking at them this time around, I realized that I don't want to be just like any of those girls. God created each of us to be separate. How could we love and support each other if we were identical?
It's time to stop looking at other people and putting ourselves down because we are different. We should praise other's strengths, not idolize them. I am not there yet. Sometimes I don't want to hang out with people that I don't "measure up" to. I need healing in this area and that's exactly why I am talking about it here.
Father, help me to see people with your eyes instead of my own. Remind me of my identity in you.
Is this something you guys deal with? How do you combat those lies when they sneak in?