Hey guess why I haven't been posting much.
It's because I am not doing so hot. I am feeling dumb and embarrassed. Remember the verse I put up about setting my face like flint? Yeah, it was set more like undercooked fudge. Or nobake cookies. Oh yeah, speaking of nobake cookies. They did me in on Thanksgiving. I was doing so good not eating sugar until I saw these...
My resolve just went down the drain. And it has pretty much stayed there.
We have one more day of this challenge and I am so sad to say that I haven't given it 100%. Heck probably not even 50%. I don't know what's wrong with me! If I am not going to do something perfectly, I don't even want to try. So as soon as I mess up one time, it's always been downhill from there. Why can't I just be ok trying and be satisfied if I'm not perfect? Losing is so embarrassing! Anyone that has ever played a game with me can tell you how competitive I am. It gets a little out of control at times.
Here's the deal. I am really frustrated right now. I don't have any awesome spiritual revelation for you tonight. I feel dumb and am in need of some encouragement. That's pretty much it.
"Out of the depths, I cry to you O Lord." Ps. 130:1
Monica
Ps. I'm not trying to be all weird and dramatic here. I'm just being honest because that is what God put on our hearts for this blog to be. I'm not looking for attention, I just want people to see the ups and downs of my battle.
I love the honesty. It speaks to people, because we need to hear others struggling just like us. I've been following and reading. Personally, I need to be doing something, anything to get off my hind parts. But a soft-tissue foot injury twice in the last year means my get-up-and-go, got up and left. We fall down and just need to get back up. So a little cookie made the "monster" come out like some Sesame Street freak show. :) Today is a NEW day. I'm encouraged by your journey and it makes me wanta do the hard thing too.
ReplyDelete@Tammy@If Meadows Speak..., thanks for your kind words. Makes me feel better knowing even when I mess up God can use me to help others. It's the whole beauty for ashes thing, I guess.
ReplyDeleteMonica, C.S. Lewis said, "Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement."
ReplyDeleteI truly believe that any guilt and discouragement over failure only comes from satan. He is the one who benefits when we get down on ourselves and when I realize that I become even more determined (that competitive spirit evidently runs in the family)! When Doyle and I have gone through some extremely difficult times, whatever it is, and I want to give up, I just picture myself one day from victory and if I give up too soon - well, I was almost there! (Does that make sense?) Here's one more really good quote, don't know who to credit for it:
"Life's real failure is when you do not realize how close you were to success when you gave up."
Don't give up trying, Monica - you are close to success!!
@Karen I love those quotes! I have honestly never thought about it that way; being one day away from victory. That is so encouraging! It was great to talk to you this morning. Thanks for calling.
ReplyDeleteMonica, I did not do very well on the challenge either, but it still had a profound impact on me. Here is why: because we were at least trying. As a group of Christian women, we were saying that we were going to start digging out the entrenched habits that are bad for us and that cut us off from God and others. It truly is a process, one that will take more that 30 days to rectify. But we made a start. We publicly declared to the Evil One that we are actively in this battle now. And that is what you wanted, right? A blog as a safe place where we could be real with our battles? It is working. I fell flat on my face with my "goals" but I feel thoroughly encouraged by you and Celeste. I think that is a bigger deal for me than "winning" my challenge. I've been told many times, "don't give up before the miracle happens". I never know what the miracle is going to look like, but I know that God has victory in store for me, either in this life or the next.
ReplyDeleteSo much love to you, Monica and Celeste. So much love.
xo
carolyn