How dumb is that?
When I get in a discussion and am feeling attacked or misunderstood, I have this intense need to defend myself. I will fight from every possible angle to make myself heard and have my side understood.
The point is, I like to be right. Kind of a lot.
The reason I like to be right is because I am full of pride. I can hardly stand the way it makes me feel to be wrong. For real, it makes me physically uncomfortable in the same way I feel about losing a game. So ridiculous!
The Bible says that pride comes before a fall and I sure do fall a lot. Like a lot lot, it seems.
What I struggle with is knowing when to stand up for myself and when to back down and be humble. The most unattractive thing to me, is a person who allows themselves to be walked over and has no opinion. What if those opinions are wrong, though? What if they hurt people you love? I don't know how to reconcile those feelings with the character of Jesus. Sometimes, I feel like I just don't even know how to "be." What a weird feeling.
I am in constant need of God's help and direction. I have these wide gaping holes that I have tried desperately to fill with other things and people that only He will fit into.
God, give me wisdom to walk out this life in love, humility and grace. Let your voice be louder than any others and help me to obey when you speak.