This post is definitely more private and personal to me than any others I've written about so far. While I feel a little uncomfortable and exposed, I do know that these are truths that Jesus wants written on our hearts.
Last week I was reading Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge and they began to talk about our beauty as women and the way that God sees us; that he is captivated by us. I started feeling a little weird. For about as long as I can remember, I have generally not felt beautiful. Definitely not captivating. I wasn't abused or told I was ugly growing up. At least not by anyone other than myself. I have just always found fault in the mirror. I wasn't convinced with their words. Then Stasi told a story about a woman that she encouraged to ask Jesus to show her her beauty. I figured I'd try it, so I tentatively asked him. He quickly flooded me with answers. He said, "Daughter, you are beautiful to me in so many ways! You are most beautiful when you are worshipping me, doing exactly what I created you to do. You are beautiful when you love and care for your son. You are beautiful when you are serving and loving your husband. Let me show you your beauty." I sat on my bed and just smiled and thanked him. I am amazed at how deep and personal his love for me is.
As if that wasn't enough, the next night I led worship at our church and before the service, God reminded me of what he had told me. I went in with more confidence and joy than I've ever had. Between songs, our pastor came up and encouraged us to pray for the person next to us. One of the other singers, Ashley and I put our arms around each other's shoulders and began to pray. She then turned to me and looked me right in the eyes and said, "God keeps telling me that he thinks you are beautiful." I immediately broke under the weight of his love as she went on to speak it over me. The almighty, amazing God of the universe stopped a service to tell me that I am beautiful. What in the world? I have never experienced him in such an intimate way and let me tell you, it is lovely.
Get alone with your Father today and ask him to show your beauty. Ask him how he sees you. Then wait until you hear his answer. Look for it because he will show you. He longs for a deeper relationship; he wants to heal your heart. Let him.