We are on day 11 of our 30 Day Challenge and it has made quite an impact on me so far. I have had some amazing high points and some unfortunate lows. Makes me sound a tad bipolar. I posted earlier this week on being free from addiction. I felt great! I was walking around in all this freedom and happiness. Then I had the urge to bake. Because I was free from addiction to sugar, I decided to make some killer sugar free cookies. They were "low" everything but tasted real good. After a few, I started feeling the guilt creep back in. The thoughts like, "Yeah, you just thought you were free. Look at you, you are still the same old person doing the same old things." I was embarrassed. Too embarrassed to blog about it because after posting about such an amazing event, I didn't want you all to see me fail. I haven't failed, though. I did a little "Croc-walk" (what my husband and I call it when the sticky rubber of a Croc makes a person trip a little) but I didn't fall. Let me tell you what God showed me about my recovery.
With nearly all addictions, there has to be abstinence. A person addicted to meth can't just shoot up every once in a while and expect to stay clean. My addiction to sugar is deeply rooted. I've been cultivating it nearly my entire life and I expected to wake up Monday morning with absolutely no desire for it again. While I know God could have taken it away, he didn't. I thought I could have some of my "drug" every once in a while and be cool. Not so much. He showed me that I need to completely steer clear for a while. I did not want to tell y'all that 'cause putting it here makes it real for me. Plus, Thanksgiving is coming up and I make a mean pumpkin roll. I will not be partaking in desserts this year. Alas, such is life and freedom and such.
So I'm changing up my goals nearly midway through this thing. Instead of the half-hearted, don't eat unless I'm hungry goal, I'm going without sugar. I'm doing it 'cause that's what God wants me to do. It's going to be hard but I have a feeling I won't regret it.
"And the Master, God, stays right there and helps me,so I'm not disgraced. Therefore I set my face like flint, confident that I'll never regret this."
I've noticed it's been pretty quiet around here since Celeste announced our 30 Day November Challenge. So, I want to explain a little bit about why I want to do this and hopefully encourage you to join us.
Last week I was singing the song None But Jesus and it starts out, "In the quiet, in the stillness I know that you are God. In the secret of your presence, I know there I am restored. When you call I won't refuse; each new day again I'll choose. There is no one else for me. None but Jesus....."
I have sung that song a hundred times but that time was different. Jesus put a challenge in my heart to spend time in the quiet. He called me to live out the words I was singing. How many times do we sing empty words to him? I know for me, that happens all too often, but I digress. I had remembered years ago reading a story that my favorite author, Brennan Manning wrote in one of his books. The gist of it is that he was talking to a man that was depressed or struggling with his identity and challenged him to spend time alone with God every day. He was supposed to hear from God about his identity etc. He came back after a while and told Brennan that it didn't work. Upon questioning the man, he discovered he had been sitting alone listening to classical music for a period of time each day. Brennan said of course it didn't work, I didn't ask you to spend time with Mozart, I asked you to spend time alone.
There is hardly ever a minute of my day that I spend in total stillness and silence. I always have music in the background or I am reading or on the phone/computer. What about you? Do you ever spend literal quiet time with yourself or God? So he laid it on my heart to begin carving out 30 minutes each day in silence. No worship music, no devotional reading; just me and my savior hanging out. It will look different every day, I'm sure. Some days I will just "be" or I will write to him, read my Bible or pray. The other day I spent my time picking weeds and allowing God to speak to my heart through his creation. It was pretty great.
We are asking everyone who reads this blog to accept our 30 Day November Challenge. Pray and ask God what he would have you do with 3 goals; spiritual, food and exercise. Commit to stick with them for the full 30 days in November and see what changes in your life. We aren't looking for perfection here 'cause Lord knows I'm probably gonna mess up a day or two. That's not the point, though. The point is to get closer to God through discipline; to hear his voice. After praying about which goals to set for the next month, here is what I have come up with:
Spiritual - spend 30 quiet minutes each day with my focus on Jesus
Food - eat only when I'm hungry
Exercise - run each day
I encourage you to listen to the song on this video and pray about what God would have you do. If you feel led to do this November Challenge with us, leave a comment letting us know you'll be joining. And if you're really brave, tell us your goals!
It's not about perfection, it's about the journey.
1 What's God going to say to my questions? I'm braced for the worst. I'll climb to the lookout tower and scan the horizon. I'll wait to see what God says, how he'll answer my complaint. 2-3And then God answered: "Write this. Write what you see. Write it out in big block letters so that it can be read on the run. This message is a witness pointing to what's coming. It aches for the coming—it can hardly wait! And it doesn't lie. If it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come right on time.
In my reading this week, I came across this chapter in Habakkuk. I'm sure you have heard this reference before: Write the vision, make it plain. I have read this passage many times & heard sermons preached on this subject, but it never meant much to me until this week.
Let me back up a little. This whole undertaking we have going on here is making me reexamine everything that has to do with food. In my effort to not follow a plan and simply trust in God, I feel totally lost and unsure of everything. (I know, I know. This is part of the process of giving up control & exactly how it should be right now.) I have been hesitant to make any goals because I am so used to trusting in my goals & plans to fix me.
So you can imagine my confusion as I am reading Habakkuk & feel like God is telling me it is time to set some goals. You know, He is probably right. (insert winky smiley face here to denote sarcasm) I have been thinking about this whole idea for the past 2 days and I honestly cannot say yet what my goals are. I am going to pray about it for the next day or two and I encourage you to do the same. Bottom line: It is time that we set some goals, write them down, and run with them.
In other news, God has done some pretty major things this week in my world. It is completely crazy to see His hand at work in my life. Ever since Monica & I started this blog, God has been moving in ways we could never imagine. I am so thankful that I finally gave up & just obeyed God with this whole thing. I am so excited to see what else lies ahead for all of us. We are just getting started!
