Well, hello. As you can probably see, I have been avoiding this blog like the plague. I haven't written recently because the only thing I would have to talk about is the amazing lack of self-control I've been experiencing lately. Everything has been out of whack with me and I am just tired of it.
I had a nice visit at Monica's house yesterday, which is a rarity because we live about 90 minutes from each other, and we both had to laugh a little at each other. So the conversation went something like this, "We are so dumb. We know what we are supposed to be doing! What is wrong with us?" Yep, that sounds about right.
I shared with her that I have felt for a while that God is leading me toward a life that does not include sugar, bread, & potatoes. I, of course, am not happy about this one bit but I know that this is what He is speaking to me. When I tried to argue my case on this one, I felt God gently reminding me that there are countless recovering addicts who are living their lives each day without alcohol, tobacco, cigarettes, etc. Yikes. What do you say to that?
Don't get me wrong, I am not advocating Atkins or some low-carb diet. I am simply admitting that these foods are triggers for me and, as much as I don't want to, I am going to have to lay them down. So for the next 30 days I am doing a fast of these three areas of food. Today has been the first day and I honestly feel relived, like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I don't want to be disobedient and I don't want to avoid this blog. There is such a sweetness to walking in obedience and surrender. I have known this feeling before and have let it slip away. I am praying to be reminded of this when things become difficult and I want to turn back to my old ways.
Maybe you are like me and you just need to have a do-over. It's ok. We can be not dumb together. Also, Daylight Savings Time begins tomorrow so set your clocks ahead tonight. If you are reading this a few years from now, don't worry about it.
Love,
Celeste
Showing posts with label freedom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label freedom. Show all posts
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Monday, February 13, 2012
Running
Hey there! It has been quite a while since I have been here. I am not going to sugar-coat things. I will simply say that I have not been doing so well lately. I guess you could say I've been running, and not the good kind of running either.
I had an amazing encounter with God when I visited Monica's church last month but I seem to have had a weird reaction to all of it. Let me back up & explain the situation & maybe you can help make sense of it with me. I was supposed to come up & sing with Monica that night. On the way there I realized that I had left my clothes at home. So, I just told Monica that I would hang out with her for a while & then go home. She said, "Sister, (this is what we call each other, by the way) I really feel like you are supposed to be in this service tonight." I then informed her that I was not going to church in jeans & a sweatshirt. Well, she wasn't having it.
So began the afternoon-long trek all over town to try & find something for me to wear. We went to several stores and absolutely nothing fit. I was getting more & more mad by the minute. Monica had to leave & get to worship practice so I thought I could sneak away. Not a chance. Her dear husband proceeded to take over the mission in her stead. He was even more determined to find an outfit for me than she was. We ended up pulling into the church parking lot about 20 minutes before the service was going to start when he realized that there was a Goodwill store right next to the church. I was thinking, "What the heck." We walk in the door and on the little display right in front of me is a beautiful pair of Italian heels size 8 1/2 (exactly my size) and a really cute beaded necklace. It's like God laid them out for me as if to say, "Here, quit being a baby & go to church!"
We found a black jacket & shirt for me and my brother-in-law helped me pull it all together just in the nick of time. I know that this is so dumb - it's just clothes. I also know that I would've felt embarrassed for being under dressed and probably would've just stayed in the back & not really entered in to the service. I am thankful that God is ever-present in my dumbness and really helped me out on this one.
Well, we walked in the door & I could immediately feel the presence of God. As soon as worship began, I couldn't stop crying. Overwhelmed would be the only word I could use to describe my experience that night. It was so refreshing & just what I needed. After the service was over I realized the other reason that I was supposed to be there. An old friend happened to be there in the service that night. This girl was one of dearest friends I have ever had but I was careless with our relationship years ago & did things that caused it to completely ruin. This has been a source of extreme pain for me but God has recently been putting the pieces back together. Just seeing her face after I had experienced this amazing time with God was more than I could ask for.
So here's the deal, ever since that night I have been so weird. I mean, I had this amazing experience, drove home in a cloud, & then I just stopped. I have felt like the walking dead ever since that night. My prayer time has been almost non-existent. My eating has been out of control. It hasn't helped that I have been sick for about 3 weeks also. Not trying to gain sympathy - just being honest.
I don't know if this is some sort of test that I have royally failed or what. I am thinking it is God trying to woo me into a deeper place, not based on an emotional experience, and maybe I'm just resisting. I am starting to see how powerful my flesh really is. I haven't been laying it all down in prayer and dying to myself like I had really been doing these past few months. How crazy it is that my life can be taken over by my old nature when I am not on guard all of the time. This is the passage of scripture that I am hanging on to at the moment: Romans 8:26-28
26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. 27 And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. 28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
So, that is where I am at tonight. I don't even really know what to pray for but I know that the Holy Spirit is interceding for me. I'm sure he can explain it way better than me, anyway. I just know that me running the show is not working. I am ready to lay it all down again and get back to the work that He has begun in me.
Thanks for bearing with us here. This is a hard road but we know that God has started this and we are both excited to follow where He leads.
Love,
Celeste
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Yeah, what she said!
Hey there! As I was reading Chapter 6 today I got a little overwhelmed - in a good way. This chapter (just like chapter 5) has really hit me hard. Honestly, I have put the book down for a few days because it has been dealing with a lot of things that I just haven't wanted to think about. God keeps using this book to confirm things that He has been speaking to me for some time now.
I need a little more time with this chapter before I can really share everything it has brought up with me. If you are reading along, you know the weight of this chapter. In the meantime I thought I would share a short video clip that sums up this book. Lysa has several videos on youtube on all sorts of topics that have really been a blessing to me. I love seeing people speak passionately about what God is doing in their lives.
Love,
Celeste (and mostly Lysa TerKeurst)
I need a little more time with this chapter before I can really share everything it has brought up with me. If you are reading along, you know the weight of this chapter. In the meantime I thought I would share a short video clip that sums up this book. Lysa has several videos on youtube on all sorts of topics that have really been a blessing to me. I love seeing people speak passionately about what God is doing in their lives.
Love,
Celeste (and mostly Lysa TerKeurst)
Friday, January 13, 2012
Made for More
Hey friends! I want to use Chapter 5 of Made to Crave as a catalyst for today's blog post In it, Lysa talks about how we were made for more than being ruled by food. We were made for victory in Christ. It's a great chapter and I want to broaden the scope a bit. I'm going to also hit on a few points from Chapter 8 where she talks about making peace with our bodies. I'm also about to get really real and really transparent.
When I was 17, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. I have lived in near constant shame and frustration because of this disease for many years.
PCOSDiva.com gives a good definition for those that don't know what it is:
I seriously cannot believe I'm telling you all this right now. So anyway, the progression of this disease is directly linked to blood sugar and insulin which can be controlled through diet. I have never been able to keep it under control on my own. I have tried so hard and have been on every drug there is for PCOS. Nothing has worked. I have defined myself by this disease. It has taken so much joy from me. I have lived a cycle of victory followed by failure for nearly 10 years; until I invited God into my situation.
Last week, I was praying about it and asking God why I have to live with this chronic disease that steals my confidence daily. He said, "It isn't for you. I did not give it to you and you do not have to live with it. Listen and obey me because you were made for more." Whaaaat?! Is this real life? I freaked out. So I have been doing the things that God is showing me and am standing on his promise that I was made for more than this. I was not made to live in fear and shame. Worrying that someone might find out that I have PCOS. God did not create me to focus my mind on the question of if I will someday get diabetes or lose all my hair. Now that I think about it, I've been living pretty selfishly. All of those worries and fear are inwardly focused. No wonder I have struggled for so long; I can't take my eyes off myself and what others will think of me. God, forgive me.
I want you to know that your Father did not create you to live bound up. You were not made to be a slave to addiction, worry, anxiety, depression, or sin. You were made to be free. To freely love your Father. Take some time today and ask him to show you what you need to be free of if you don't already know. And if you need to repent, do it fully and he will shower you with mercy.
I'm heading toward freedom in many more areas than I ever thought possible. It feels pretty dang good.
Monica
When I was 17, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. I have lived in near constant shame and frustration because of this disease for many years.
PCOSDiva.com gives a good definition for those that don't know what it is:
"Often called the “Thief of Womanhood”, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) affects as many as 10% of women. It can rob you of your fertility, cause irregular periods, lead to insulin resistance and obesity, as well as, depression. High levels of androgen hormones in women with PCOS can cause acne, excess facial and body hair growth and male-pattern hair loss. The long term risk factors for diabetes, heart disease and certain cancers are higher if PCOS is left untreated."
I seriously cannot believe I'm telling you all this right now. So anyway, the progression of this disease is directly linked to blood sugar and insulin which can be controlled through diet. I have never been able to keep it under control on my own. I have tried so hard and have been on every drug there is for PCOS. Nothing has worked. I have defined myself by this disease. It has taken so much joy from me. I have lived a cycle of victory followed by failure for nearly 10 years; until I invited God into my situation.
Last week, I was praying about it and asking God why I have to live with this chronic disease that steals my confidence daily. He said, "It isn't for you. I did not give it to you and you do not have to live with it. Listen and obey me because you were made for more." Whaaaat?! Is this real life? I freaked out. So I have been doing the things that God is showing me and am standing on his promise that I was made for more than this. I was not made to live in fear and shame. Worrying that someone might find out that I have PCOS. God did not create me to focus my mind on the question of if I will someday get diabetes or lose all my hair. Now that I think about it, I've been living pretty selfishly. All of those worries and fear are inwardly focused. No wonder I have struggled for so long; I can't take my eyes off myself and what others will think of me. God, forgive me.
I want you to know that your Father did not create you to live bound up. You were not made to be a slave to addiction, worry, anxiety, depression, or sin. You were made to be free. To freely love your Father. Take some time today and ask him to show you what you need to be free of if you don't already know. And if you need to repent, do it fully and he will shower you with mercy.
I'm heading toward freedom in many more areas than I ever thought possible. It feels pretty dang good.
Monica
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Plans. Big Plans.
Hey there! Hope ya'll are doing great. I must say that Monica has been doing a fabulous job talking about chapters 1 & 2 of the book we are reading. Man, oh man, I am loving this book. If you haven't checked out Made To Crave yet, I highly recommend that you do so. Monica has the paper copy and I bought the digital edition for my Kindle. (only $3.99 in the Amazon Kindle store) And no, we aren't being paid or anything like that - it's just the perfect addition to this blog.
So, I am going to talk about Chapter 3, entitled "Getting A Plan." If you have been following this blog at all you know that I love a plan. I get so excited about making plans, especially diet plans. I have latched onto the Weight Watchers plan, Atkins plan, Master Cleanse plan (for approximately 3 hours), Low Calorie Plans, Low Fat Plans, doctor supervised plans, Body For Life, and on and on. I know that most of these are great plans. The plan is not the problem - me putting all of my trust in the plan and my subsequent lack of "follow-through" has always been the problem.
In the beginning of this journey I thought that God wanted me to give up all of my plans and just trust in Him to lose this weight and heal my heart. I now know that this is 100% right but He has also revealed that I need to have some boundaries (notice how I avoided the word "plan" - I am sneaky like that) I have been afraid to latch onto any plans because of my natural inclination to put all of my hope in them. God's timing is so perfect. He knew that I needed these few months to just focus on Him and to prepare my heart to follow a plan while I keep my eyes fixed on Him.
In Chapter 3 Lysa shares how God revealed to her that true change takes intentionality and time. Real and lasting results will come but they won't be immediate. Patience - something I am extremely lacking in - is what I need God to work on inside of me. I am going to be walking out James 1:2-4, "Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way."
Lysa shares the plan that works for her in this chapter. She encourages readers to find out what plan is best for them. I love that this book is not about a diet at all - just total surrender in every area of our lives.
So there you go. This is what chapter 3 has spoken to me. I pray that we will continually turn our hearts away from the things of this world and fix our eyes on our Heavenly father this week.
Love,
Celeste
So, I am going to talk about Chapter 3, entitled "Getting A Plan." If you have been following this blog at all you know that I love a plan. I get so excited about making plans, especially diet plans. I have latched onto the Weight Watchers plan, Atkins plan, Master Cleanse plan (for approximately 3 hours), Low Calorie Plans, Low Fat Plans, doctor supervised plans, Body For Life, and on and on. I know that most of these are great plans. The plan is not the problem - me putting all of my trust in the plan and my subsequent lack of "follow-through" has always been the problem.
In the beginning of this journey I thought that God wanted me to give up all of my plans and just trust in Him to lose this weight and heal my heart. I now know that this is 100% right but He has also revealed that I need to have some boundaries (notice how I avoided the word "plan" - I am sneaky like that) I have been afraid to latch onto any plans because of my natural inclination to put all of my hope in them. God's timing is so perfect. He knew that I needed these few months to just focus on Him and to prepare my heart to follow a plan while I keep my eyes fixed on Him.
In Chapter 3 Lysa shares how God revealed to her that true change takes intentionality and time. Real and lasting results will come but they won't be immediate. Patience - something I am extremely lacking in - is what I need God to work on inside of me. I am going to be walking out James 1:2-4, "Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way."
Lysa shares the plan that works for her in this chapter. She encourages readers to find out what plan is best for them. I love that this book is not about a diet at all - just total surrender in every area of our lives.
So there you go. This is what chapter 3 has spoken to me. I pray that we will continually turn our hearts away from the things of this world and fix our eyes on our Heavenly father this week.
Love,
Celeste
Monday, January 2, 2012
What's Really Going On Here?
Celeste talked briefly in her last post about the book we are reading, Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst. Can I just say how dadgum awesome it is? I am almost finished with it and it is very underlined and starred. If you have ever had an issue with food, go and get this book as fast as your little feet can run or your little fingers can type. Seriously, go get it. Like right now. It has changed my life. Plus she's funny.
We want to do short chapter overviews here on the blog 'cause it's that good. (Even the intro is good!) By no means will we cover even half of the content but just want to touch on the points that have impacted us personally. We want to share the ways God has spoken to our hearts through this book.
Alright then, here's chapter 1 for me.
It's titled What's Really Going On Here? She starts off talking about diet companies and how they teach people how to eat better and why that doesn't always work. The real issue is what we crave and that our cravings aren't going to be satisfied just because our bellies are full. God made us to crave him and his presence and we feebly attempt to fill that craving with food, sex, drugs, shopping, insert any addiction. We will never feel full on the "food" of the world when that is not what we were made for.
Lysa then touches on Eve's temptation vs. Jesus' temptation (when he was fasting and Satan came and tempted him). She says, "Eve was saturated in the object of her desire. Jesus was saturated in God's truth." She shows how Jesus, who hadn't eaten in 40 days, was able to resist Satan by quoting scripture and using truth as a weapon. That is available to us to use as well! "Truth is powerful. The more saturated we are with truth, the more powerful we'll be in resisting our temptations. And the more we'll naturally direct our cravings where they should be directed - to the Author of all truth." I love that!
As Christians, our goal is to be Christ-like so it's amazing to have an example in the Bible of what Jesus did when tempted with food. I really appreciate that. So what have I been doing? Quoting scripture to get me through tough situations. I have been declaring truth from the Word to get me through times when I'm flaming mad that I'm not eating cake with everyone else. And hey, it works, so that's cool.
There is a ton of content that I didn't touch on in the 1st chapter, so you should really go read it all for yourself. I know God will speak to your heart through what she says, that is unless you have your heart-ears plugged. Isn't that a funny/weird picture? And I leave you with that.
Monica
We want to do short chapter overviews here on the blog 'cause it's that good. (Even the intro is good!) By no means will we cover even half of the content but just want to touch on the points that have impacted us personally. We want to share the ways God has spoken to our hearts through this book.
Alright then, here's chapter 1 for me.
It's titled What's Really Going On Here? She starts off talking about diet companies and how they teach people how to eat better and why that doesn't always work. The real issue is what we crave and that our cravings aren't going to be satisfied just because our bellies are full. God made us to crave him and his presence and we feebly attempt to fill that craving with food, sex, drugs, shopping, insert any addiction. We will never feel full on the "food" of the world when that is not what we were made for.
Lysa then touches on Eve's temptation vs. Jesus' temptation (when he was fasting and Satan came and tempted him). She says, "Eve was saturated in the object of her desire. Jesus was saturated in God's truth." She shows how Jesus, who hadn't eaten in 40 days, was able to resist Satan by quoting scripture and using truth as a weapon. That is available to us to use as well! "Truth is powerful. The more saturated we are with truth, the more powerful we'll be in resisting our temptations. And the more we'll naturally direct our cravings where they should be directed - to the Author of all truth." I love that!
As Christians, our goal is to be Christ-like so it's amazing to have an example in the Bible of what Jesus did when tempted with food. I really appreciate that. So what have I been doing? Quoting scripture to get me through tough situations. I have been declaring truth from the Word to get me through times when I'm flaming mad that I'm not eating cake with everyone else. And hey, it works, so that's cool.
There is a ton of content that I didn't touch on in the 1st chapter, so you should really go read it all for yourself. I know God will speak to your heart through what she says, that is unless you have your heart-ears plugged. Isn't that a funny/weird picture? And I leave you with that.
Monica
Monday, December 19, 2011
Being Captivated
Hey y'all! It's been a minute, huh? I don't really have a reason for the break in blogging the past few weeks. I had stuff to talk about but just kept forgetting to write it down or I didn't want to talk about stuff. Either way, I'm back and I've got something to say.
I read Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge a few years ago and thought it was pretty good but not life changing or anything. I am reading it again and wondering if I had read a different book 'cause it is seriously amazing. If you haven't read it, go get it. Stat!
So I have been frustrated and asking God why I'm not losing any weight doing this thing his way. Isn't that kinda the point after all the dealing with issues and stuff? I have been really wanting to go on a diet lately. I want a plan. I want to go back to something that I know has worked in the past if only for a short time. I have been feeling real frustrated and gaining weight like I'm getting paid to. So a week and a half ago, I made a plan and set a start date. I was going to take control and lose some pounds before Christmas. Then the conviction started. I wondered how I would diet and still blog. How can I be honest and yet go against the whole cause of this space? Maybe I just won't talk about it? Every time, I thought about it, there was a catch in my spirit. God was wearing me down. Then I read this in Captivating and it knocked down my last bit of fight...
"Therefore I will block her path with thornbushes;
I will wall her in so she cannot find her way.
She will chase after her lovers but not catch them;
she will look for them but not find them. (Hosea 2:6-7)
Jesus has to thwart us too--thwart our self-redemptive plans, our controlling and our hiding, thwart the ways we are seeking to fill the ache within us. (That's the part that really got me) Otherwise, we would never fully turn to him for our rescue. Oh, we might turn to him for our 'salvation,' for a ticket to heaven when we die....But inside, our hearts remain broken and captive and far from the One who can help us.
And so you will see the gentle, firm hand of God in a woman's life hemming her in.....Wherever it is we have sought life apart from him, he disrupts our plans, our 'way of life' which is not life at all."
So how's that for reading my mail? Yeah. It's like I'm a wounded animal thrashing around trying to get free from a trap but hurting myself in the process. Then the gentle hands of Jesus hold me tight until I settle down and stop moving. He can see things I can't see. He has the strength to set me free but I have to give up control and let him do it his way.
Monica
I read Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge a few years ago and thought it was pretty good but not life changing or anything. I am reading it again and wondering if I had read a different book 'cause it is seriously amazing. If you haven't read it, go get it. Stat!
So I have been frustrated and asking God why I'm not losing any weight doing this thing his way. Isn't that kinda the point after all the dealing with issues and stuff? I have been really wanting to go on a diet lately. I want a plan. I want to go back to something that I know has worked in the past if only for a short time. I have been feeling real frustrated and gaining weight like I'm getting paid to. So a week and a half ago, I made a plan and set a start date. I was going to take control and lose some pounds before Christmas. Then the conviction started. I wondered how I would diet and still blog. How can I be honest and yet go against the whole cause of this space? Maybe I just won't talk about it? Every time, I thought about it, there was a catch in my spirit. God was wearing me down. Then I read this in Captivating and it knocked down my last bit of fight...
"Therefore I will block her path with thornbushes;
I will wall her in so she cannot find her way.
She will chase after her lovers but not catch them;
she will look for them but not find them. (Hosea 2:6-7)
Jesus has to thwart us too--thwart our self-redemptive plans, our controlling and our hiding, thwart the ways we are seeking to fill the ache within us. (That's the part that really got me) Otherwise, we would never fully turn to him for our rescue. Oh, we might turn to him for our 'salvation,' for a ticket to heaven when we die....But inside, our hearts remain broken and captive and far from the One who can help us.
And so you will see the gentle, firm hand of God in a woman's life hemming her in.....Wherever it is we have sought life apart from him, he disrupts our plans, our 'way of life' which is not life at all."
So how's that for reading my mail? Yeah. It's like I'm a wounded animal thrashing around trying to get free from a trap but hurting myself in the process. Then the gentle hands of Jesus hold me tight until I settle down and stop moving. He can see things I can't see. He has the strength to set me free but I have to give up control and let him do it his way.
Monica
Monday, December 5, 2011
Survival 101
Hey there! How are you? Things are getting snowy around these parts. It actually is beginning to look a lot like Christmas. I cannot believe we are actually almost at the end of 2011. This year has included a vegetable garden, four new puppies, more paid-off debt, and too many soccer, baseball, and basketball games to count. When I think back on 2011 and all that God has done, I cannot deny that I am blessed.
I once had a pastor that would ask me, "Celeste, are you surviving or are you thriving?" There have been a few "thrive" moments in 2011 but, for the most part, I feel like I have just "survived." Too often I have let the overwhelmingness (pretty sure that is not an actual word - just go with it) that is my life run the show. It is hard for me to see the big picture when I am drowning in school projects and dirty socks. Seriously, the laundry at my house is unreal. I swear these boys change clothes 3 times a day just to spite me.
But here's the thing: I was told that I would probably never be able to have children. I prayed and begged God for these children. He heard my cry, and then some. It is so easy for me to forget how badly I wanted to be a mother and how scared I was that I would never get the chance. Here I am, all of these years later, falling into the role of "Stressed Mom" and allowing my attitude to get gradually worse as time goes by. God has used the story of The Children of Israel to teach me so much these past few months and this is just another example of how I tend to act just like them. Eeek.
You know what? Sometimes I just need to realize that this is my life and things are the way they are for a reason. Many times I find myself making excuses & saying things like, "If I just had more time, I could really focus on my health." or, "Well, if I didn't have so much going on with the kids, work, church, etc. I could start really working out." The fact is, this is my life. This is the way it is. I can either adapt and make it awesome, or simply survive it. I don't know about you, but I am tired of surviving.
I am praying for God to help me realize that He is here, in the middle of crazy town, with me. Together we can do this. I don't know where you are or what is going on with you today, but please remember that you are not alone. Your Father is ready and willing to help you today. I know that He did not create us and redeem us to be survivors. We are so much more than this.
Love,
Celeste
I once had a pastor that would ask me, "Celeste, are you surviving or are you thriving?" There have been a few "thrive" moments in 2011 but, for the most part, I feel like I have just "survived." Too often I have let the overwhelmingness (pretty sure that is not an actual word - just go with it) that is my life run the show. It is hard for me to see the big picture when I am drowning in school projects and dirty socks. Seriously, the laundry at my house is unreal. I swear these boys change clothes 3 times a day just to spite me.
But here's the thing: I was told that I would probably never be able to have children. I prayed and begged God for these children. He heard my cry, and then some. It is so easy for me to forget how badly I wanted to be a mother and how scared I was that I would never get the chance. Here I am, all of these years later, falling into the role of "Stressed Mom" and allowing my attitude to get gradually worse as time goes by. God has used the story of The Children of Israel to teach me so much these past few months and this is just another example of how I tend to act just like them. Eeek.
You know what? Sometimes I just need to realize that this is my life and things are the way they are for a reason. Many times I find myself making excuses & saying things like, "If I just had more time, I could really focus on my health." or, "Well, if I didn't have so much going on with the kids, work, church, etc. I could start really working out." The fact is, this is my life. This is the way it is. I can either adapt and make it awesome, or simply survive it. I don't know about you, but I am tired of surviving.
I am praying for God to help me realize that He is here, in the middle of crazy town, with me. Together we can do this. I don't know where you are or what is going on with you today, but please remember that you are not alone. Your Father is ready and willing to help you today. I know that He did not create us and redeem us to be survivors. We are so much more than this.
Love,
Celeste
Monday, November 28, 2011
Letting Go
Hey there. I hope you enjoyed your Thanksgiving as much as I did. Getting out of town and being with family did me a world of good. I was having a rough time when I wrote last and I want to thank you all for your kind words and prayers.
I have to tell you something pretty great that happened last week. When I wrote that last blog I was really discouraged. Immediately after that post I went to get my nails done. The place I normally go was closed for the holiday & I ended up going to another little nail shop. Normally I am friendly and talkative but I just wasn't feeling it that day. As I was sitting in silence, the man doing my nails started talking to me. Out of the blue he said, "You know, sometimes you just have to let things go. You can't make things happen on your own. Things have to be done in God's timing." I'm sure my mouth was hanging open.
He kept going for almost an hour - totally reading my mail - and giving me words of encouragement. I was literally stunned. I just needed a reminder of what this whole thing is really about. I am thankful God is ready and able to help when we are in trouble.
Admitting that I need help is another huge part of the "dying to myself" process. Everything inside me wanted to sweep all of that discouragement under the rug and just go along like things were fine. If I had done that I would have missed the blessing God had for me that day. I am so thankful for you all and also for the obedience of the man who showed the Father's love to me last week.
Who knew that a blog about food addiction would bring about so many other things. I was just trying not to be fat, y'all. I had no idea we were going to get all up in each other's business!
November is almost over, by the way. I have really enjoyed these weeks & I can't wait to hear from you all about how our first 30 Day Challenge went for you.
Love,
Celeste
I have to tell you something pretty great that happened last week. When I wrote that last blog I was really discouraged. Immediately after that post I went to get my nails done. The place I normally go was closed for the holiday & I ended up going to another little nail shop. Normally I am friendly and talkative but I just wasn't feeling it that day. As I was sitting in silence, the man doing my nails started talking to me. Out of the blue he said, "You know, sometimes you just have to let things go. You can't make things happen on your own. Things have to be done in God's timing." I'm sure my mouth was hanging open.
He kept going for almost an hour - totally reading my mail - and giving me words of encouragement. I was literally stunned. I just needed a reminder of what this whole thing is really about. I am thankful God is ready and able to help when we are in trouble.
Admitting that I need help is another huge part of the "dying to myself" process. Everything inside me wanted to sweep all of that discouragement under the rug and just go along like things were fine. If I had done that I would have missed the blessing God had for me that day. I am so thankful for you all and also for the obedience of the man who showed the Father's love to me last week.
Who knew that a blog about food addiction would bring about so many other things. I was just trying not to be fat, y'all. I had no idea we were going to get all up in each other's business!
November is almost over, by the way. I have really enjoyed these weeks & I can't wait to hear from you all about how our first 30 Day Challenge went for you.
Love,
Celeste
Friday, November 11, 2011
Changing Things Up
We are on day 11 of our 30 Day Challenge and it has made quite an impact on me so far. I have had some amazing high points and some unfortunate lows. Makes me sound a tad bipolar. I posted earlier this week on being free from addiction. I felt great! I was walking around in all this freedom and happiness. Then I had the urge to bake. Because I was free from addiction to sugar, I decided to make some killer sugar free cookies. They were "low" everything but tasted real good. After a few, I started feeling the guilt creep back in. The thoughts like, "Yeah, you just thought you were free. Look at you, you are still the same old person doing the same old things." I was embarrassed. Too embarrassed to blog about it because after posting about such an amazing event, I didn't want you all to see me fail. I haven't failed, though. I did a little "Croc-walk" (what my husband and I call it when the sticky rubber of a Croc makes a person trip a little) but I didn't fall. Let me tell you what God showed me about my recovery.
With nearly all addictions, there has to be abstinence. A person addicted to meth can't just shoot up every once in a while and expect to stay clean. My addiction to sugar is deeply rooted. I've been cultivating it nearly my entire life and I expected to wake up Monday morning with absolutely no desire for it again. While I know God could have taken it away, he didn't. I thought I could have some of my "drug" every once in a while and be cool. Not so much. He showed me that I need to completely steer clear for a while. I did not want to tell y'all that 'cause putting it here makes it real for me. Plus, Thanksgiving is coming up and I make a mean pumpkin roll. I will not be partaking in desserts this year. Alas, such is life and freedom and such.
So I'm changing up my goals nearly midway through this thing. Instead of the half-hearted, don't eat unless I'm hungry goal, I'm going without sugar. I'm doing it 'cause that's what God wants me to do. It's going to be hard but I have a feeling I won't regret it.
"And the Master, God, stays right there and helps me, so I'm not disgraced.
Therefore I set my face like flint, confident that I'll never regret this."
With nearly all addictions, there has to be abstinence. A person addicted to meth can't just shoot up every once in a while and expect to stay clean. My addiction to sugar is deeply rooted. I've been cultivating it nearly my entire life and I expected to wake up Monday morning with absolutely no desire for it again. While I know God could have taken it away, he didn't. I thought I could have some of my "drug" every once in a while and be cool. Not so much. He showed me that I need to completely steer clear for a while. I did not want to tell y'all that 'cause putting it here makes it real for me. Plus, Thanksgiving is coming up and I make a mean pumpkin roll. I will not be partaking in desserts this year. Alas, such is life and freedom and such.
So I'm changing up my goals nearly midway through this thing. Instead of the half-hearted, don't eat unless I'm hungry goal, I'm going without sugar. I'm doing it 'cause that's what God wants me to do. It's going to be hard but I have a feeling I won't regret it.
"And the Master, God, stays right there and helps me, so I'm not disgraced.
Therefore I set my face like flint, confident that I'll never regret this."
Isaiah 50:7
Monica
Monday, November 7, 2011
It's All in the Family
We are on day 7 of the 30 Day Challenge and things are going good over here. Right now, I've got a tasty broccoli soup on the stove for supper and will have 30 quiet minutes as soon as I finish this post. If it ever stops raining here, I'll go outside for a run but if not, I'll head to the gym.
So what I really want to talk about today is generational issues; unfortunate things that seem to be passed down through blood lines. I want to tell you about how I got free from mine. Last Friday, I posted about how I screwed up and found myself with cupcake crumbs all over my face. My mom commented on that post about how sugar addiction is something she, her mother and her grandmother have all battled. Each one of us grew up watching our mother fight this demon and learned to do the same. I had just kind of accepted this as a part of my life and tried my best to get over it. Not working so much for me. Seeing it in writing on Saturday was pretty huge for me. (I am so incredibly proud of my mom for having the courage to admit her struggle, by the way.)
I had been praying all day that God would give me a breakthrough in this area at church that night. I was pretty sure our pastor wasn't going to call up people with sugar addiction for prayer at the end of the service. I just wanted God to do something. So that afternoon, I was praying about the song I was going to lead and God laid a verse on my heart. I was like, "Hey, you know I don't like to talk during worship." And he was like, "Yeah, I know but do it anyway." So I was like, "Ok." Fast-forward to me picking up my guitar and thinking, "Oh crap, I can't talk!" Then a peace just came over me and I knew if I was obedient, my breakthrough would come. I said my little verse and a few words of encouragement and it was cool. Then our pastor came up and started talking about stuff in your life that has no place. He literally said, "I don't care if you Grandmother had it and your Mother had it and you do too." My eyeballs got enormous. He talked about the power of our words and declaring things on earth to be as they are in heaven. In the Lord's prayer, Jesus said, "Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven." Jesus told us to pray that. Then my pastor said go ahead and do it, so I did. I said, "Today, I am free from addiction and it has no place in my life. God, may your will be done in my life on earth as it is in heaven." And then I laughed. Not a weird, crazy laugh mind you. I laughed at the thing that has held me captive for so long. I was filled with joy over my freedom.
I am learning the power of my words. I say so many negative things about myself that are keeping me in bondage. It's time to speak life over ourselves! During your time with God today, ask him to show you the areas in your life where you need to change your vocabulary. What things do you need to declare to be on earth as they are in heaven?
We LOVE hearing from you guys; it's so encouraging! If you don't feel comfortable commenting here on the blog, please send us an email. setfreefromme.cm@gmail.com
Monica
So what I really want to talk about today is generational issues; unfortunate things that seem to be passed down through blood lines. I want to tell you about how I got free from mine. Last Friday, I posted about how I screwed up and found myself with cupcake crumbs all over my face. My mom commented on that post about how sugar addiction is something she, her mother and her grandmother have all battled. Each one of us grew up watching our mother fight this demon and learned to do the same. I had just kind of accepted this as a part of my life and tried my best to get over it. Not working so much for me. Seeing it in writing on Saturday was pretty huge for me. (I am so incredibly proud of my mom for having the courage to admit her struggle, by the way.)
I had been praying all day that God would give me a breakthrough in this area at church that night. I was pretty sure our pastor wasn't going to call up people with sugar addiction for prayer at the end of the service. I just wanted God to do something. So that afternoon, I was praying about the song I was going to lead and God laid a verse on my heart. I was like, "Hey, you know I don't like to talk during worship." And he was like, "Yeah, I know but do it anyway." So I was like, "Ok." Fast-forward to me picking up my guitar and thinking, "Oh crap, I can't talk!" Then a peace just came over me and I knew if I was obedient, my breakthrough would come. I said my little verse and a few words of encouragement and it was cool. Then our pastor came up and started talking about stuff in your life that has no place. He literally said, "I don't care if you Grandmother had it and your Mother had it and you do too." My eyeballs got enormous. He talked about the power of our words and declaring things on earth to be as they are in heaven. In the Lord's prayer, Jesus said, "Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven." Jesus told us to pray that. Then my pastor said go ahead and do it, so I did. I said, "Today, I am free from addiction and it has no place in my life. God, may your will be done in my life on earth as it is in heaven." And then I laughed. Not a weird, crazy laugh mind you. I laughed at the thing that has held me captive for so long. I was filled with joy over my freedom.
I am learning the power of my words. I say so many negative things about myself that are keeping me in bondage. It's time to speak life over ourselves! During your time with God today, ask him to show you the areas in your life where you need to change your vocabulary. What things do you need to declare to be on earth as they are in heaven?
We LOVE hearing from you guys; it's so encouraging! If you don't feel comfortable commenting here on the blog, please send us an email. setfreefromme.cm@gmail.com
Monica
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Yesterday and Today
From what I hear, several of us doing this 30 Day November Challenge had a rough first day. Day 1 for me was not so hot either. I went to see a nutritionist early in the day and found out I was kinda fat. Doi. I had to bite my cheek so as not to cry when she was reading me all my fat stats. As embarrassing as it was, I knew I needed to hear the truth on Day 1 but I left a little discouraged. After talking to my husband who always speaks truth to me, I was a little more encouraged. That afternoon I spent some mediocre (on my part) time with God and then went running at 8:30 last night. It wasn't till my shoes were pounding pavement that things got real. God and I had good talks and I realized I had things flipped around in order. I shouldn't have procrastinated all day to do the things he has called me to do. So on Day 2, I have my workout clothes on already and I'm ready to go. Here's to a better second day!
How was your first day?
Thanks to all who have joined in and shared your goals. It's not too late to jump on this train! Go here and read about our challenge and then leave a comment with your goals.
Monica
How was your first day?
Thanks to all who have joined in and shared your goals. It's not too late to jump on this train! Go here and read about our challenge and then leave a comment with your goals.
Monica
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Day 1 - Celeste
Well, as the great & wonderful Carolyn pointed out, I haven't posted my 3 goals yet so here they are:
1. Food - I am giving up potatoes & sugar (two of my biggest trigger foods)
2. I will spend 30 minutes a day exercising (walking, swimming, biking, or zumba)
3. I will devote 20 minutes of quiet time with God each day. (quiet is a foreign concept in my life)
Day one has been ok. I have to tell you that this no sugar thing has been difficult with the mountain of Halloween candy in my house today. No big deal though. I am going to start a load of laundry, lace up my walking shoes, & hit the road.
How was your Day 1?
Love,
Celeste
1. Food - I am giving up potatoes & sugar (two of my biggest trigger foods)
2. I will spend 30 minutes a day exercising (walking, swimming, biking, or zumba)
3. I will devote 20 minutes of quiet time with God each day. (quiet is a foreign concept in my life)
Day one has been ok. I have to tell you that this no sugar thing has been difficult with the mountain of Halloween candy in my house today. No big deal though. I am going to start a load of laundry, lace up my walking shoes, & hit the road.
How was your Day 1?
Love,
Celeste
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Identity Identified
This last Wednesday I told this class I'm in at church about my blog. It is made up of people from every age group and walk of life just desiring to dig deeper into God, and to be trained up to be a warrior like David. I told them about the comparison post and then about the worship leading post. And when I told them I didn't think I was as good of a singer as Emily, I looked over and saw her husband and father shaking their heads. It was at this point I began the cry-talk. It was unavoidable and no matter how hard I bit my cheek, I couldn't get it under control. So I just kept cry-talking my way through what God was telling me to say. Then, a guy spoke up and said, "Monica, this is just a shortcut to get to where God wants you. When he takes you through something difficult, just think of it that way." I had never in my life thought of that!
So this weekend, God led me through a shortcut and I ended up standing smack dab in the middle of my identity. As soon as I started singing, God blanketed me with peace. I have been doing this for about 10 years and it was unlike anything I've ever felt while leading worship. It was this realization that I was in the perfect place doing the exact thing I was put on this earth to do. For weeks, I have been asking God to speak to me about my identity and he gave me the most incredible revelation in that moment. I have always known this is what I am called to do; that's not really what I'm talking about. I'm not sure how to explain it, other than that I felt happy with myself for the first time in a long time. And that is because I stepped out and did something scary which allowed God to reveal my identity. I prayed that through my worship this weekend, people would feel his presence; his love, and be changed. Who knew it would be me?
Monica
So this weekend, God led me through a shortcut and I ended up standing smack dab in the middle of my identity. As soon as I started singing, God blanketed me with peace. I have been doing this for about 10 years and it was unlike anything I've ever felt while leading worship. It was this realization that I was in the perfect place doing the exact thing I was put on this earth to do. For weeks, I have been asking God to speak to me about my identity and he gave me the most incredible revelation in that moment. I have always known this is what I am called to do; that's not really what I'm talking about. I'm not sure how to explain it, other than that I felt happy with myself for the first time in a long time. And that is because I stepped out and did something scary which allowed God to reveal my identity. I prayed that through my worship this weekend, people would feel his presence; his love, and be changed. Who knew it would be me?
Monica
Friday, October 21, 2011
Setting Some Goals
Habakkuk 2 (The Message)
1 What's God going to say to my questions? I'm braced for the worst. I'll climb to the lookout tower and scan the horizon. I'll wait to see what God says, how he'll answer my complaint. 2-3And then God answered: "Write this. Write what you see. Write it out in big block letters so that it can be read on the run. This message is a witness pointing to what's coming. It aches for the coming—it can hardly wait! And it doesn't lie. If it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come right on time. In my reading this week, I came across this chapter in Habakkuk. I'm sure you have heard this reference before: Write the vision, make it plain. I have read this passage many times & heard sermons preached on this subject, but it never meant much to me until this week.
Let me back up a little. This whole undertaking we have going on here is making me reexamine everything that has to do with food. In my effort to not follow a plan and simply trust in God, I feel totally lost and unsure of everything. (I know, I know. This is part of the process of giving up control & exactly how it should be right now.) I have been hesitant to make any goals because I am so used to trusting in my goals & plans to fix me.
So you can imagine my confusion as I am reading Habakkuk & feel like God is telling me it is time to set some goals. You know, He is probably right. (insert winky smiley face here to denote sarcasm) I have been thinking about this whole idea for the past 2 days and I honestly cannot say yet what my goals are. I am going to pray about it for the next day or two and I encourage you to do the same. Bottom line: It is time that we set some goals, write them down, and run with them.
In other news, God has done some pretty major things this week in my world. It is completely crazy to see His hand at work in my life. Ever since Monica & I started this blog, God has been moving in ways we could never imagine. I am so thankful that I finally gave up & just obeyed God with this whole thing. I am so excited to see what else lies ahead for all of us. We are just getting started!
Love,
Celeste
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